


Mistakes, Bad Moves and Water

by auburnimp



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Gen, Impatience, M/M, Male Bonding, Swimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-25 00:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auburnimp/pseuds/auburnimp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of our favourite relay team from the beginning to some sort of ending from the pov of each of them in turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friends!

**Author's Note:**

> Rin starts us off and I will add more tags, warnings, etc. as the story progresses. The usual disclaimers apply.

Rin was eleven going on twelve when he joined the Iwatobi Swim Club. He’d heard the rumours about a boy who was an absolute prodigy in the water and wanted to check them out and maybe make some friends.  
When he reached poolside, two boys were watching a third in the water. Rin snapped his goggles into place and dived in, immediately making a race of it, just for fun. The other boy saw him and quickened his pace until it was a real race.  
When they reached the end Rin was grinning like an idiot. Finally he’d found someone able to not only pace him but also beat him. “Would you swim in a relay at the next tournament with me?”  
The other boy stared at him for all of a second, his blue eyes gone huge, until he looked away in either disdain or embarrassment. “I’m not interested in times and performances, I only swim free,” he said coldly. Rin loved a challenge so he scrambled out of the pool. “The rumours said that about you as well as what a great swimmer you are. Seems they were true,” he said with a happy laugh and grinned at the other two. “I’m Matsuoka Rin and I think you’re Tachibana Makoto from my class.”  
Makoto nodded and smiled. “That’s me and this is Hazuki Nagisa. The shy one is Nanase Haruka but then you probably know that already.”  
Nagisa giggled. “We must have been fated to meet. We all got saddled with girly names.”  
Rin laughed at that. “What were our parents thinking, eh?”  
Nagisa and Makoto laughed with him but Haruka remained totally oblivious as he swam another couple of lengths. Rin watched and his eyes widened. Nanase Haruka moved through the water as if he’d been born to it. Nagisa was right; it was like watching a dolphin swim and Rin understood what Haruka had meant when he said he only swam free. He turned to the others. “So, do you want to form a relay team?”  
That had been the beginning of the best year of Rin’s life. A year in which he learned Haru was neither disdainful nor unfriendly, he was merely painfully shy and lacked social skills. Rin shared enough sleepovers to realise Haru’s parents had no interest in their son, only concerned with each other and work. In that atmosphere and with no siblings to play and/or fight with, Haru had never really learned how to be social but somehow it didn’t matter. Every emotion showed in Haru’s eyes and Rin soon learned to read those cobalt orbs as easily as any book.  
It came as a bit of a blow when he got the letter accepting him to the prestigious swimming school in Australia. He didn’t really want to go but his mother was so proud and he had to pursue his father’s dream.  
Only Makoto and Haru were there when he told them. Makoto asked lots of questions but something in Haru seemed to break. He rushed to explain that he would still be swimming in the final with them, hoping to lift that blank stare from Haru’s face but nothing worked until he knew what he should say. “I’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before.”  
Haru’s eyes widened at his words and when they swam he watched Rin until he had to put his goggles on.  
They won easily of course and Rin took the opportunity of flinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure why the raven-haired boy gave him such a feeling of butterflies in his stomach but he still teased him about the time capsule they made of the trophy. “Romantic, eh?” he asked as he looked straight at Haru. He watched those pretty eyes widen and a slight blush colour Haru’s cheeks.  
So the great swimmer actually cared as well. It was good to know and Rin was suddenly determined that they would share their first kiss with each other. They shook off Makoto and Nagisa when the two went for a celebration meal with their parents, and walked slowly past the fence by the Swimming Club.  
Rin took his courage in his hands and backed Haru against the fence. Once there he gave him a passionate if inexpert kiss, waiting to get punched or kicked for his audacity. Instead, Haru’s arms snuck round his neck and his kiss was returned with just as much passion but no more expertise.  
They kissed until they both came up for air. Rin smiled. “Definitely romantic,” he said. Haru did something amazing and returned his smile and Rin fell in love although he didn’t know it then.


	2. The Race that Changed Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That terrible race between Rin and Haru and it's consequences. Haru pov.

Haru packed his towel, cap and goggles into his sports bag and left his room. “I’m going out to meet a friend,” he called to his grandmother. “I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

His grandmother appeared from the kitchen, her face scrunched up into a smile. “Wrap up warm if you’re going to swim, its cold out.” 

Haru nodded and slipped into coat and scarf before putting on his shoes. “See you!” he called, forgetting her in his excitement at seeing Rin again. 

This last year had been an agonising wait for Rin’s return from Australia for New Year. He had joined the middle school swim team with Makoto and they had been thrilled to have two of the four swimmers who had won the junior relay so convincingly. Being in the water helped to drive off the loneliness for a while but it wasn’t the same as when the four of them had been together. 

He made his way towards the swim club where he’d agreed to meet Rin, his stomach full of butterflies and his heart lighter than it had been for a year. Then he saw the wine-haired boy and he smiled. Rin smiled back and ran to meet him. “We’d better hurry, Coach Sasabe is about to lock the place up.” 

Haru nodded and they sprinted for the club. Rin’s powers of persuasion got them in and the coach agreed to start their race and decide who touched first of it was close. 

As they got changed, Haru listened to Rin’s chatter and frowned. This didn’t seem like the friend he’d swum with for a year, the laughing boy who had given him his first kiss. There was a new intensity to Rin that hadn’t been there before. Haru wasn’t sure he liked it but he happily headed for the pool when they’d both changed. 

Coach Sasabe started them and they both dived into the water. Haru stretched into his stroke, knowing that Rin was quite capable of keeping up with him. In the next lane Rin was powering along and Haru knew it was going to be close. His mind returned to the locker room where all Rin had talked about was his improved times and racing. Well, if Rin really wanted a race… 

Haru stretched himself more and they were neck and neck on the turn but then Haru pulled steadily ahead and beat Rin easily. 

What horrified him was Rin collapsing in tears on the poolside and repeating over and over, “I might as well quit, I might as well quit.” 

Haru wasn’t good at dealing with tears or offering words of consolation and it was a few moments before he stepped towards Rin to try and comfort him. It was too late. Rin threw his goggles on the tiles and stormed off still in tears. 

Haru stood rooted to the spot, wondering how he was ever going to be able to fix this. The slamming of the outside door convinced him he wasn’t going to be able to fix it at all. He dried off, pulled on his street clothes and left the club, eyes wide as he tried to make sense of why Rin was so upset. They’d just been having a race for fun, hadn’t they? Then he remembered Rin’s talk in the locker room, his obsession with times and winning and realized this race had not been for fun. Rin had needed to beat him, perhaps to prove going to Australia had been the right decision. 

Haru sighed and vowed he would not swim competitively again. The last thing he wanted to do was reduce those he beat to tears, especially not Rin. 

He tried to call Rin when he got home but Rin didn’t pick up and Haru knew he had lost a friend. 

When he returned to school he immediately retired from the swimming team and closed in on himself even more. His problems were compounded when they found Nagisa had gone to a different middle school and so he only had Makoto from those once happy times. 

Six months later his grandmother died and Haru encased his heart in ice, terrified of hurting or being hurt anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion between the relay team if such it can be called. Makoto POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok pretty much following the anime in this chapter with a bit of what I think Makoto might be thinking in my headcanon. No real surprises here. If any of the dialogue is wrong, I'm sorry. I did it from memory.

Makoto wanted to sigh as he hauled Haru out of his bathtub. Apart from the usual admonishment not to call him –chan and the ‘I couldn’t care less’ attitude over his suit being on in the bath, Haru was as apathetic as ever. When he started grilling mackerel Makoto actually shouted at him. “Why are you grilling fish?”

Haru looked at him as if he’d gone mad. “I haven’t had breakfast yet.” 

Makoto sighed and waited for Haru to eat, knowing if he left now, Haru would simply phone in sick just as he had for yesterday’s assembly. Much as he liked Haru and was trying to be his friend, Makoto often found himself wishing Rin was here. The redhead was the only one who could get Haru to do anything he didn’t actively want to do. 

Makoto’s heart sank as he thought about what Haru wanted to do and it came down to just one thing. Haru wanted to be in water all the time. Sometimes Makoto wondered if Haru was simply waiting for the right moment to drown himself and his own fear of the ocean often gave him nightmares as to what Haru might do. 

As they walked he chatted about their new homeroom teacher, how they were in the same class again and other bits of news but he knew Haru wasn't listening. Haru was staring at the ocean. “It will soon be warm enough for you to swim in the ocean,” he said and finally won a second of Haru’s attention. 

There was the usual confusion at registration, their new sensai having to be told Haru was a guy not a girl. Amakata-san recovered quickly and welcomed Haru to the class but he still seemed disinterested. 

Lunchtime changed things in a good way for once. “Mako-chan! Haru-chan!” 

Makoto and Haru stared at each other as they repeated the greeting, then they stared down the stairs at the genki boy who was grinning up at them. 

“Nagisa?” 

Nagisa joined them on the roof and they talked about swimming inevitably. “So are you in this school’s swim club?” 

Makoto shook his head. “It doesn’t have one and the pool’s not used at all.” 

Nagisa’s face fell. “I was hoping to swim with you guys again.” 

Makoto shot a quick look at Haru before saying, “Haru doesn't swim competitively anymore.” 

Nagisa sighed but as they were going down the stairs he said. “They’re going to pull down the old swim club. We need to go back.” 

Makoto stared. “You want to dig that up?” 

Nagisa nodded. “Yep.” 

Makoto frowned at the blond. “But shouldn’t we wait for Rin?” 

Nagisa shook his head. “If we do that we may well lose it altogether. We’ll go tonight. You coming, Haru-chan?” 

Haru said just one word. “No.” 

Nagisa exchanged a look with Makoto who shook his head sadly. 

“It’ll be fun,” Nagisa tried. 

“No, not interested.” Makoto recognised all the signs of Haru becoming mulish so he threw in the clincher. “There’s a pool there.” 

Haru’s eyebrow twitched and he finally agreed. 

That night the three of them entered the old building. Makoto was surprised at how little it had changed inside considering how long it had been empty. Every corner held a memory, the showers, the locker room, the lounge. Nagisa charged across the lounge and beckoned them. “Look, look!” 

Makoto and Haru joined him and gazed at the photo taken when they won the relay. It made Makoto want to cry seeing the huge smiles on their young faces. Well, Haru wasn’t smiling but he hadn’t thrown Rin’s arm off and he actually looked as close to happy as he ever looked. 

“Let’s dig the trophy up,” Nagisa said and turned away. “I hope the marker is still there.” 

Makoto went to follow when he saw Haru reach out, remove the photo and carefully pocket it. Once again he wished Rin had never gone to Australia, wished he was here with them. They’d been a team but now there was a gaping hole where Rin had been. 

They left the lounge and started down the corridors to where they’d buried the trophy. Makoto saw a shadowy figure at one of the junctions and couldn’t help the spike of fear. He grabbed Haru’s shirt while Nagisa asked who it was. “How should I know?” Makoto almost snapped in his unease. 

The figure came closer and one hand reached up to snap the elastic at the back of the baseball cap he was wearing. Nagisa was the first to react and almost pinned the redhead to the wall in his exuberance. “Rin-chan! You’re back from Australia?” 

Rin didn’t answer, he just stared at Haru who had moved to the opposite wall. “You still hanging out with these guys, Haru? You never learn.” 

Makoto stared in surprise. What had happened to friendly, chatty Rin? Haru’s voice came from behind him. “What about you? Have you learned anything?” 

Makoto spun round. “Haru?” What the hell was going on between these two? 

Rin smirked. “I’m glad you asked. Why don’t I show you? Let’s race, Haru.” He turned away and Haru followed. Makoto was reminded of a moth and a flame. It held him motionless for a second as Nagisa, sounding very confused asked, “Did they just ditch us?” Makoto jumped as he remembered and ran after them with Nagisa at his heels. 

“Wait up!” 

By the time he and Nagisa reached poolside, both Rin and Haru were down to jammers and were taunting each other. So engrossed in their rivalry they hadn’t noticed one important fact. 

Nagisa yelled, “There’s no water!” and luckily they both stopped. 

Then Rin walked away but not before he held up the trophy. “Did you guys come here for this? I don’t need it anymore.” He dropped it at their feet and left. 

Makoto exchanged a glance with Nagisa before they both stared at Haru who was gazing after Rin as if he knew something they didn’t. Then he sighed and dressed again. 

Makoto reached for the discarded trophy but Haru beat him to it, holding it to his chest before walking away. 

Makoto watched him, confused by everything that had happened that night, until Nagisa pulled on his sleeve. “What do you think happened in Australia to make Rin-chan like that? He ignored both of us. That’s not like Rin-chan at all.” 

Makoto sighed. “I don’t know, Nagi, but it’s going to cause a lot of problems I think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I'm trying to point out that Haru was not the innocent little victim in an abusive relationship. He's quite capable of being just as cruel as Rin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gou, the race at Samezuka and the beginnings of the club. Nagisa POV so expect a lot of -chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too sure about this one as Nagisa is making himself harder for me to write than I thought he would.

Nagisa couldn’t help wondering aloud what had happened to Rin. Makoto agreed with him but Haru didn’t want to talk about it at all, deadpanning words like, “Doppelganger, ghost and dream.”

Nagisa gave up, knowing when the older boy was not going to play. 

Matsuoka Gou came as a surprise especially as they met outside Haru-chan’s house. She seemed to want to help them bring her brother to his senses and volunteered the information that her brother now attended Samezuka Academy. 

He dragged Mako-chan back to Haru-chan’s house and attempted to persuade Haru-chan to go to Samezuka with them to see Rin-chan. At mention of a pool Haru-chan agreed. 

When night fell and the swimming team left the pool for the night, they sneaked in. Haru-chan stripped off immediately and dived in. Nagisa was beginning to wonder if the dark-haired boy slept in his jammers. 

Mako-chan, being the worry-wart he was, started to panic. “I thought we came to see Rin.” 

Nagisa grinned. “We can take a dip first.” He stripped off his clothes. “A skinny dip.” 

He grinned with delight as Mako-chan blushed and leaped into the pool with a yell. “Come here Mako-chan!” The taller boy stepped closer to the edge of the pool and Nagisa grabbed an ankle and pulled. Mako-chan lost his balance and fell in with a loud splash. “Na-gi-sa!” 

Nagisa giggled as Mako-chan tore off his shirt and started splashing him. “Take that,” he cried as he splashed back. They swam closer to each other and Nagisa hoped Mako-chan would overcome a few inhibitions and kiss him. It might have happened except the door was thrust open and Rin-chan stood there glaring at them. “What are you guys doing here? Get out!” 

Haru-chan surfaced in front of them and said, “Free.” 

“Huh?” Rin-chan stopped to stare as Haru-chan climbed out of the pool. 

Haru-chan seemed to pick his words carefully. “Did you forget? I told you I only swim freestyle. I want you to show me that sight again. I’ve forgotten what it is I saw.” 

Rin-chan stared for a second then said, “Sure, I can do that, but it won’t be the same. This time I’ll show you something completely different.” 

Nagisa scrambled out of the pool and into his clothes while Haru-chan told Mako-chan to start them off. It was a close race and Haru-chan still reminded him of a dolphin while Rin-chan had become even more of a shark. Rin-chan won by a touch and was yelling, “Yes!” and punching the water, very happy till Haru-chan said, “You win, that’s great, Rin.” 

Rin-chan grabbed him by the goggles and Nagisa wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss Haru-chan or punch him. It could go either way except that was when a teacher found them. 

Despite the weird ending, the race gave Nagisa some hope for a swimming club at Iwatobi. Haru-chan was competitive again (at least with Rin-chan) and Mako-chan, although dubious said he would join. 

He dragged Mako-chan and Gou-chan back to Haru’s house and they dug him out of his bathtub to tell him they were starting a swimming club at the school. Haru didn’t argue but didn’t seem that interested either. 

“You do know you’re expected to join, don’t you,” Mako-chan sounded so diffident when he said that but Haru-chan shrugged and said, “I know.” 

Nagisa couldn’t be sure as he’d never been able to read Haru-chan the way Rin-chan or Mako-chan could, but he would swear at that moment, Haru-chan seemed very content with life. 

Talk turned to Rin-chan, of course, and Mako-chan asked Gou-chan whether he’d come home at all. She seemed surprised and told them he’d come home every year for New Year. He couldn’t believe it. “And he never came to see us?” 

There was a sharp intake of breath from the kitchen and everyone glanced up to see Haru-chan had gone as still as a statue. Nagisa frowned and glanced at Mako-chan. He could see it in those pretty green eyes, Mako-chan believed Haru-chan knew something he wasn’t telling them. 

Recruiting was a nightmare. Nobody wanted to join and the superb poster Haru-chan designed meant the art club tried to hijack him. Nagisa began to wonder if he was wasting his time, when Gou-chan joined. They had a swimming club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah Nagisa has such a flibbity-jibbet mind and it shows in this chapter. Feedback always welcomed ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin introspective which may or may not explain a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly headcanon and I apologise in advance to all Australian swimming instructors and coaches. I'm thinking Rin went to a school that was not as good as it made out.

Rin walked through the old swim club trying to forget so many memories. Their relay was not why he was here. A much earlier relay was on his mind.

He stepped into the lounge and made for the far wall. The photo with him, Haru, Makoto and Nagisa was not there, and he wondered which of the three had taken it until he shrugged and gazed at the earlier photo.

Neither he nor Gou had his father’s black hair although they both had his reddish-brown eyes. Nobody had ever known where the red hair they shared had come from. 

His father looked as proud and as happy as Rin had been in their photo and just as close to his team. That thought sent a pang of guilt and nostalgia through Rin but then he remembered what he’d been taught. All that mattered to a champion was winning. Relays were not important, were merely a way of letting off steam at the end of a meet. Individual events and times were what mattered. 

Rin was a master of every stroke and loved individual medley but even that didn’t impress his instructors. They wanted him to win one hundred or two hundred meter races, preferably in every stroke as the medley wasn’t as important. They had taken everything he’d been taught up till then and twisted it around. Back, breast and especially fly had been easy for him to improve in. He’d built on the things he’d learned from watching Makoto and Nagisa swim and fly had always been his favoured stroke. His front crawl, however, never did improve. He’d tried to copy Haru’s stroke but had never quite worked out what it was that the other boy did to move through the water so effortlessly. He’d been advised to concentrate on fly events and that had seemed easier and better. 

He reached forward and took the photo out of its frame, rubbing a thumb over his father’s smiling face. “I’ll make your dream come true, dad, I promise.” 

He turned away, impatiently rubbing tears from his eyes. It was about time he grew up and learned to control his emotions instead of being such a cry baby. This place must be getting to him, too many memories here, all of them good but ultimately meaningless. 

He went back to his dorm and entered quietly, not wanting to wake Nitori up and face a thousand whiny questions. He stretched out on his bunk, still staring at the photo of his father when his cell phone burped out a message. Expecting to hear Gou’s voice he turned his head in surprise at hearing Makoto’s voice. “We’ve started a swimming club so I really think you should join yours.” 

A part of the old Rin surfaced and the thought came, “I’d rather join you guys,” but he squelched it as he remembered what his instructors had taught him. “I don’t need you to tell me that,” he muttered but he joined the team the following day. 

Now all he had to do was beat Haru so he could move ahead with his father’s dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this goes some way to redeeming Rin. Take an impressionable teenage boy and teach him his friends and relay win are meaningless and you get the fuck up he's become. Well I think so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fence scene from Haru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've put in a few things that Haru might have been thinking.

Haru didn’t know how Nagisa had persuaded Rei to join the club and frankly he didn’t want to know. Apart from the embarrassment of his belly flop and sink like a stone act at their joint training session with Samezuka Academy, the boy simply couldn’t swim. He threw all sorts of theories around like confetti but nothing seemed to work.

Haru swam laps while Makoto and Nagisa tried to teach Rei. Kou asked him why he swam one day. He found he couldn’t give her a reason. 

“My brother wants to swim in the Olympics. That’s why he went to Australia.” Mention of Rin hurt and Haru interrupted her harshly. “That has nothing to do with me. Besides it’s just a dream.” 

Kou shrugged. “Perhaps, but I believe he would be closer to his dream if he was with you guys.” Haru didn’t know what to say to that so he pulled on his cap and goggles and swam another lap. 

Then the day came when Rei decided it was Nagisa’s borrowed speedo that was to blame for his lack of talent in the water. He wasn’t sure why he, Makoto and Nagisa had to go along. Even Kou was there but he thought a new swimsuit wouldn’t hurt. A couple of his were getting a bit loose. 

It ended up with them all trying new suits on until the moment he emerged to find everyone gone and Rin staring at him from the entrance to the adjoining dressing cubicle. 

“Haru?” Did he actually seem pleased to see Haru for once? 

“Rin.” Ugh, that had sounded so needy. 

Rin noticed Nagisa being loud in his teasing of Rei and his expression hardened. “We need to talk. Alone.” 

Haru sighed but agreed. He knew Rin’s attitude was all his fault. Knew if Rin had won their race then he would be fine now. It never mattered to Haru whether he won as long as he could be in the water, the one place he felt alive anymore. 

They stopped by a fence round the corner from the store’s entrance and Rin asked, “What have you been doing for the past three years? You’re better than this.” 

Haru couldn’t help the sarcasm that came out of his mouth. “I’m not better than someone who just got back from Australia.” Oh damn! Not good. 

“Are you mocking me?” 

Haru shook his head. “I’m not. You won our race.” 

“It would be hard not to beat you given the shape you’re in.” 

Haru was confused. “A win is a win. You won. Isn’t that good enough?” Why hadn’t Rin beating him put things right between them? 

“It’s not!” Rin shouted. “I want a real race.” He swallowed and said more quietly, “Or else I can’t move on.” 

Move on from what? Haru wondered. Aloud he said, “You’re a pain.” What he meant was why can’t it be the way it was? 

Hurt, he walked away as he tried to hurt in his turn. “I only swim free. I won’t swim for you.” 

Rin charged after him, grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him round, pressing him against the fence. “You will swim for me.” 

Something in Haru clicked into place. Even if only on this level, Rin needed him. He clutched at the fence as he remembered the last time Rin had pinned him in such a position. The look in Rin’s eyes made him wonder if he was going to be kissed again but nothing happened so he pushed Rin off. “In that case I want you to promise me something. If you lose don’t say you’re going to quit. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t cry if you lose.” 

Rin looked stricken and Haru hated himself for what he was doing but he never wanted to see Rin the way he’d been after their childhood race again. 

Rin pulled away with a snarl. “I’m not a little kid anymore. I’ll show you just how different we really are.” He began to walk away and Haru watched him go, still at a loss. “Try to build some muscle before the tournament. I’ll see you there.” 

Haru closed his eyes on the pain that coursed through him. Perhaps I should have kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add a kiss here as I so wanted one in the anime but decided to go with canon - for now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Male bonding after Rei's stupidity. Makoto POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, Rei was incredibly stupid as a beginner going into the ocean, at night, with a kick board. I never was able to take his character seriously and episodes 5 & 6 compounded his dopiness. Sorry Rei fans, I know he's cute.

Makoto shivered as Haru chewed out Rei for swimming alone in the ocean at night. “What the hell were you thinking? You could have killed yourself and Makoto!”

“Haru, it’s ok.” 

Haru glanced over at him. “Is it?” 

Makoto shook his head. No it wasn’t, the sudden squall had brought back the memories, the deaths and the fear. 

Nagisa was busy with a pile of crafting materials he’d found in a cupboard and finally produced a dice. He’d written Haru’s name on one side, his on another, Makoto’s on a third and Rei’s on the other three. When Rei called him on it he just chuckled.

He rolled the dice and of course it landed on Rei’s name. Nagisa put on his impish grin and said, “Tell us an embarrassing story.” 

Rei blustered and flushed. “Why does it have to be embarrassing?” But he told them of leaving his underwear in a bathroom when he was on a field trip in fifth grade. The teacher had held his briefs up for all to see and he’d had to claim them. 

Makoto felt for him but it still didn’t stop the shivering. Nagisa rolled the dice again and it fell on Haru. “Tell us a romantic story of your first love.” 

Makoto glanced at Nagisa in surprise. Did he mean the budding romance that had been Haru’s relationship with Rin? Haru merely shrugged. “My turn? When I was in grade school my parents took me hiking up a nearby mountain.” 

Makoto and Nagisa exchanged glances. “Has Haru ever been in love?” Nagisa asked.

“I have no idea.” Well that wasn’t strictly true. He did have an idea but he wasn’t going to say it aloud. 

“That was where I saw the most beautiful, scintillating, pristine… waterfall.” 

Makoto hadn’t realised he’d been holding his breath with everyone else until they all let out a deflated sigh. Water, he should have known it would be water, although he knew the liquid wasn’t Haru’s only love. He sighed inwardly, wishing the two of them could sort things out and go back to what had once been between them. 

Nagisa rolled the dice. “My turn, I’ll do a performance.” He sucked his cheeks in and turned his hands out before wobbling from side to side. 

“What’s that supposed to be?” Rei demanded. 

“It’s a rock hopper penguin,” Nagisa declared, sounding offended then he did it again and Makoto smiled. 

Nagisa almost jumped into his lap. “That’s better! You smiled again.” 

Makoto sighed. “I’m sorry for making everyone worry.” 

Rei took a deep breath and asked why Makoto had seemed so weird when he’d come for him. 

Haru snapped, “We’re not going to discuss it.” 

Makoto knew he was trying to protect him but the others had a right to know, especially Nagisa as he’d been the only one of their original team who hadn’t known. Rin had known and shared the same fear of the ocean as Makoto did. It had taken his father after all. 

He told Nagisa and Rei about the old fisherman who’d been so kind to him and about the goldfish he’d given him. He shook slightly as he mentioned the typhoon that had taken the fisherman and Rin’s father. Nagisa’s hand slipped into his and squeezed gently. He told them of the funeral and how Haru had held his hand through the ordeal and how he’d felt fear rather than sadness. Then he told them how the goldfish had died despite his care. 

Strange how comforting Nagisa’s hand in his was and he squeezed it gently in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No kiss this chapter but I promise one for the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of last chapter's male bonding.

“It’s stopped raining.” Nagisa gave Mako-chan’s hand another squeeze before rising to his feet and stepping outside.

The others soon followed and Rei-chan pointed out some of the constellations. Wanting to see Mako-chan’s smile again, or better still hear his chuckle, Nagisa pointed upwards and said, “There’s the squid constellation.” 

Haru-chan caught on at once and demanded, “Where’s the mackerel constellation?” 

Rei-chan stamped his foot. “There’s no such thing! Honestly you two…” But Nagisa didn’t care as he heard Mako-chan chuckle softly at their silliness. He glanced down then and saw the sky and all the stars reflected in the large puddle they were standing in. “Look, look.” 

They all stared down in awe as it appeared they were standing in the sky. Nagisa felt it was a special moment, one that brought them closer to being a team again. Okay, so Rei-chan wasn’t Rin-chan and never would be able to completely replace the redhead, but he was working hard to catch up with them and be a productive member of the team. 

Nagisa smiled and felt proud at that moment. 

When Haru-chan and Rei-chan went back inside, Nagisa grabbed Mako-chan’s arm and held him still. It was now or never, he decided, before he lost his courage altogether. He rose onto his toes and reached behind Mako-chan’s neck, pulling his head down and kissing him full on the lips. 

Mako-chan stood still for a second or two then his arms crept round Nagisa’s waist and he returned the kiss with interest. Then he let go and they stood there, staring at each other. “That wasn’t just to make me feel better, was it?” Mako-chan demanded. 

Serious for once, Nagisa shook his head. “No, Mako-chan, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” 

Mako-chan smiled tenderly at him. “That’s a relief as I’ve wanted the same.” 

Nagisa’s eyes widened. “Really?” 

Mako-chan nodded, his green eyes full of emotion. “I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage or find the opportunity till now.” 

Nagisa treated him to one of his most mischievous grins. “So, does that mean we’re dating now?” 

Mako-chan looked a little nervous and ran one hand through his hair. “I guess it does. Um… how do we go about that?” 

Nagisa giggled. “We’ll think of something.” He took hold of Mako-chan’s hand and led him inside. Rei-chan looked shocked and blushed furiously but Haru-chan had the slightest of smiles on his face. 

They swam back at first light and Mako-chan urged him to keep up. “I’m trying to keep awake.” Then he blinked and wondered if he was dreaming. “Why is Rin-chan by our tents?”

Mako-chan gave him a smile. “I wonder,” he said. “Perhaps he’ll remember our friendship one day. 

Nagisa watched Rin-chan start running again but he couldn’t find the energy to care. They just about managed to drag themselves above high water mark, before collapsing on the beach. “Goodnight, sweet prince,” Nagisa whispered to Mako-chan just before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a pairing you don't often see but I rather like it so I make no apologies for it. Hope everyone enjoyed. Feedback always welcome.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, room mates and memories. Rin's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically the happenings from episode 7 with Rin's thoughts added along the way.

Rin jerked awake with a start. The dream had been vivid and disturbing, a goldfish in a bowl cropping up everywhere, chasing after first Haru and then his father and to top it off reliving his father’s funeral. What was the matter with him?

Nitori stood over him. “Senpai, are you all right? Were you having a nightmare?” Did he look all right? Of course it was a damned nightmare. Ready to snap at the kid, he calmed down and merely nodded with a curt, “I’m fine.” 

Later he took a break from swimming laps to receive another barrage of questions. “Why are you only swimming in the 100 meters free when butterfly is your best event?” 

Rin wiped his face. “Why should you care? You’re in the individual medley aren’t you?” 

Nitori stared at the tiles for a moment. “I wanted to enter the 100 meters free. Is it because of Nanase-san?” Was that jealousy Rin was hearing? 

“Just concentrate on your own events.” 

Mikoshiba arrived wanting to know what was wrong. “Nothing’s wrong,” Rin said and threw the towel back at Nitori before diving into the pool again. 

As he swam he wondered if he was doing the right thing. By only entering the free he had significantly reduced his chances of getting to the regionals but it didn’t matter. He had to beat Haru. He had to move on from his past. He had to become the shark, the lone predator. 

The evening before the tournament Rin made the mistake of telling Nitori he wouldn’t be taking the bus to the tournament as he needed to go somewhere else first. “Where are you going?” 

Damn it the kid was nosey. “Why should you care? Are you stalking me or something?” Nitori’s clingy nature was really beginning to worry him. 

“You’re going to see Nanase-san.” It sounded like an accusation to Rin and he snapped back, “I’m not! I told you to stop worrying about me and focus on your own event.” 

“But…” 

Rin sighed. He was the kid’s mentor after all. “Now what?” 

Nitori pouted. “I’m upset. You could enter any event but haven’t and I can’t even enter my preferred event. I feel so useless.” 

Rin stared before swinging his legs off the bed and sitting forward. He thought about someone other than himself for once. He was supposed to be the kid’s mentor after all. “No, you have endurance,” he said eventually. “The 400 meter is a much better event for you than the 100.” 

Nitori jumped. “Th..thank you very much,” he stammered and Rin remembered it was the first bit of real advice he’d given him. He felt he owed him more so he said, “I’m going to see my dad.” 

“I thought he passed away a long time ago…” There was a sharp intake of breath then Rin found himself with a lapful of crying kid. “No, don’t do it senpai! You can’t die!” Rin threw him off, angry that he could even think such a thing. “I’m not going to die!” he yelled. “I’m visiting his grave.” 

He needed to get out of this room and a drink sounded good to him. “Come on.” 

Nitori followed him to the drinks machine and Rin tossed the kid a can of soda before opening one for himself. He took a long swallow. “I never told you about my dad, did I?” 

Nitori shook his head. “No.” 

“Apparently he was the best swimmer in Iwatobi when he was young. He won tournaments all over the place and brought home lots of trophies and medals. His dream was to become an Olympic swimmer. He never achieved that dream. He got married and had me. He became a fisherman. Then he died, just like that. Late one summer a huge typhoon hit. A lot of fishermen died when their boats sank. My dad was one of them. I want to achieve the dream my dad couldn’t and there’s someone I have to beat before I can make that happen.” 

There he’d told Nitori everything so now maybe he wouldn’t be plagued with questions. Of course Nitori had another one for him. “Is that Nanase-san?” 

The memories flashed through Rin’s mind but always ended with him kneeling at the end of the pool and crying in frustration and… loss? He wasn’t sure anymore. “He’s incredibly talented,” he told Nitori, “but all he talks is nonsense about how he loves water and wants to feel it. He doesn’t swim to set records or win events. And still I couldn’t…” 

So humiliating how, despite a year of almost constant training in Australia, Haru had still beaten him. “Unless I beat him, I can’t move forward.” 

Are you sure this is what you need? An annoying little voice in the back of his mind and, as usual, Rin ignored it. Damn it all to hell. Why did he still care about Haru?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fortunes and the race at the tournament. Haru's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The half luck fortune Haru received has been quoted word for word as I think it's far too important to gloss over.

Kou was obviously confused. “Huh? What is this Haruka-senpai? Half luck?”

Haru read the fortune again as the others crowded round and made their various comments. “Focus on your studies.” He sighed inwardly at that one. “Your business will do well.” If his business was swimming, that seemed like it was reasonable luck. “You’ll make lots of good memories.” That had to be better than some of the bad memories he was carrying around with him now. “You will be reunited with the person you want to see.” His heart skipped a beat at that one until he remembered Rin’s strange attitude towards them all these days. “Try not to lose anything.” Did it mean the race or something else? Had he already lost Rin? “You will make good friends.” He glanced up at the others and realised he already had good friends if he wanted them. “Your wishes will come true with help from others.” He frowned over that one. How could his friendships make his wishes come true when all his wishes were centred on one very stubborn redhead? 

* 

Haru tuned out Nagisa and Makoto trying to persuade Rei to relax as he stared at the ground. Why was he doing this again? Why was Rin the only person who ever brought out this competitive spirit in him? So many questions and he still had no answers to any of them. Would it have made a difference if Rin had beaten him when they were children? Was that the festering wound that had changed Rin so much? Then he remembered other things about that day and wondered even more. 

The others were moving so he looked up and followed them into the locker rooms as Nagisa recalled them being mistaken for girls when they’d been in elementary school. Bittersweet memories that made him wish all the more that Rin was here instead of Rei. With Rin urging them on they all did well, without him, Haru didn’t know. 

They made their way to the stands where Amakata-sensai was waiting for them, the inevitable parasol up to keep the sun off her. Haru showed some interest in what Gou had to say about some of the other clubs and swimmers before he realised she was more interested in their muscles than anything else. 

A brash call of “Gou-kun, over here,” made him stand up and look for Rin among the Samezuka crowd. Rin wasn’t there. “He may have already gone to the assembly area,” Makoto suggested as he looked at his watch. 

This was it then. Haru grabbed his goggles and cap and walked determinedly towards the assembly area. Rin was waiting for him. He didn’t know what to say so settled for, “I’m here, as promised.” 

Rin chuckled though it wasn’t a friendly sound. “Of course,” he declared. “I kept my qualifying time deliberately low so we’d be in the same heat.” 

The insult didn’t faze Haru, at least not outwardly. “No need for that. We’d still meet in the final.” He sounded so abrupt, so cold, but Rin was a shark and he’d sense blood immediately. 

Rin smirked and snapped his goggles onto his head. “I can’t wait that long, besides there’s no guarantee you’ll even make the final. Nobody else matters. This is between you and me. I look forward to it.” Then he was strolling away, leaving Haru behind yet again. 

Haru stared at his reflection in the mirror of his locker. “Today I become free.” But free of what? Free of Rin’s constant demands? Free of Rin abandoning him yet again? Free of anyone’s demands? The thoughts confused him and he slammed the locker door. 

Haru swam his normal pace until the turn when he saw Rin had already turned and was swimming for the finish line. Haru kicked off hard from the turn and sped after him, determined to catch him. 

He pulled back a lot of the distance but Rin touched the wall first. When the result was made official, Rin jumped and punched the water yelling, “Yes!” 

Haru simply stood there wondering what it was all about, why he swam at all. He looked up as Rin called his name. There was a disturbing smirk on Rin’s face as he said, “I win. This means I’ll never swim with you again. Never!” 

Haru gasped. Was Rin trying to destroy him? Or was it the memories he was trying to erase? Haru watched Rin walk away, taking a part of Haru’s heart with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written after I watched episode 9 and I'm sure, from the preview, that something else happened that winter's day apart from the race. Until I see next weeks episode, I've just made it a hint here.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto speaks his mind and swims for his team. Makoto POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the point in the story where Rin starts to see sense due to Makoto's words.

Makoto stared at the times. Not only had Haru lost, but he had no place in the final. Rin had seen to that. He watched as Rin said something to Haru that made the dark-haired boy stiffen in the water before pulling himself out of the pool. Seeing the way Rin was now, Makoto wondered if his words to Haru had made things even worse. He was returned to a sense of his surroundings by Sasabe Gorou's arrival. "Sorry I'm late."

Nagisa jumped to his feet, more upset than Makoto could ever remember seeing him before. "You're late Gorou-chan! You missed the prelims!" 

Sasabe didn't seem too worried. "I'll see the final." 

Makoto took a deep breath. "Haru didn't make it to the final." Strange how actually saying it made it real. 

Sasabe-san seemed really shocked by that but sat down to watch the rest of the tournament. Rei jumped up suddenly. "Haruka-senpai has been gone for far too long. I'm going to look for him." 

Makoto exchanged a look with Nagisa, both of them knowing company was the last thing Haru would want right now. Nagisa jumped to his feet with a shouted, "Wait, Rei-chan," and chased after him. Makoto sat still for another second before going after both of them. 

He caught up with Rei in the assembly area and grabbed his wrist. "Wait, Rei." 

Rei struggled for a moment before turning to face him. "Why are you stopping me?" 

Makoto tried to start an explanation, "Well, it's because..." but Nagisa interrupted him with, "Calm down, Rei-chan." 

Rei glared at them both before raising his voice. "Aren't you worried about Haruka-senpai?" Whatever else he might have said was interrupted by Nagisa's surprised, "Rin-chan!" 

Rin was strolling towards them with his head down and Makoto frowned. The redhead didn't look like a winner at that moment. He looked up at Nagisa's cry and muttered, "You guys. Of course, you're all competing in the tournament." 

Nagisa, never the most patient of people jumped straight in with, "Hey, Rin-chan, have you seen Haru-chan?"" 

Rin frowned. "Haru?" 

Nagisa nodded. "He hasn't come back yet." 

Rin looked incredibly pleased with himself. "Was losing to me that much of a shock?" He's the one who said he didn't care about winning or improving his time." 

Makoto felt Rei give a start. "He's not upset about losing. There must be some other reason." Makoto thought it might have something to do with whatever Rin said poolside but neither he, nor Haru, would share those words with the rest of them. 

Rin became angry and shouted at Rei. "What else matters in swimming other than winning?" 

Whether he knew what was said or not, this arrogant, pig-headed version of the boy he'd once competed with was beginning to piss him off. "There is more," he said quietly. "At least, Haru thought there was something more. That's why he wanted to race you. And I'm pretty sure that you're the one who taught him what that something was." He had the satisfaction of seeing Rin's demeanor change from cocky to stricken. Perhaps he did remember the closeness he and Haru had shared. "When we swam in that relay in grade school, you..." 

He was interrupted. "What do I care?" Rin shouted. "I beat Haru. That's all that matters." Then he was walking away and it almost broke Makoto's heart to see Nagisa reach after the boy who used to treat him like a brother. He put his arm round the blond as Rei asked. "A relay? Did you guys swim with him in a relay in the past?" 

Makoto nodded as Nagisa stopped staring sadly after Rin and turned to Rei. "Didn't we mention that?" 

"You only told me things happened in the past. If you were that close, why are you....?" 

Nagisa dived in to shut Rei up before he opened even more old wounds. "Now, now, Rei-chan, calm down. We have to look for Haru-chan right now." 

Makoto shook his head, now totally convinced Rin's words to Haru had been cruel. "No, we should let him be. Knowing Haru, he probably doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. And we have our own races coming up. Let's focus on what we can do." 

Rei turned away and started walking back to the spectator area but Nagisa's hand found its way into his and squeezed. "Good luck, Mako-chan." The blond rose up on his toes and gave Makoto a kiss. He felt his cheeks heat up but returned the kiss with interest. "Thank you. I'll see you after." 

He watched as Nagisa charged after Rei then got ready for his own race. 

He swam as hard and fast as he could, hoping to get at least one of them to Regionals, but he touched the wall in second place with a time just outside the qualifying time. It was only after he'd climbed out of the pool that he glanced up to see Haru watching. Of course, as soon as he was spotted he turned his head away in embarrassment. Makoto smiled. Haru was still with them it seemed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll still be at the tournament for next chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the tournament and the search for Haru. Nagisa POV

Nagisa went back to the spectator area but he couldn’t settle. The meeting with Rin-chan had upset him and he wanted Haru-chan there to help cheer Mako-chan on. Mind made up he jumped to his feet and went back to the assembly area. He found Haru-chan sitting on a bench and gazing into space.

“Haru-chan, come on. Mako-chan’s race is about to start.” 

Haru-chan’s head went back and he muttered a cold, “I’ll pass.” 

Nagisa almost stamped his foot. He was the youngest yet at the moment he felt like he was dealing with a child. He grabbed Haru-chan’s right wrist and pulled him to his feet. “I don’t think so,” he said determined to make Haru-chan see sense. 

Haru-chan must have realised he meant it as he ran along the corridor with him. When they reached the spectator area, Haru-chan blinked and gazed at the water where Mako-chan was already swimming. 

Gorou-chan had organised the rest of the club and they were shouting for Makoto. That seemed to surprise Haru-chan and he stood watching as Mako-chan did his best and came in second. 

Nagisa went down for his race but couldn’t do better than third then it was Rei-chan’s turn but nobody expected him to win. He wasn’t helped by his goggles slipping but still managed to produce a personal best. Nagisa was proud of them all, but still concerned about the whole situation with Rin-chan. 

It seemed as though Haru-chan was too as he disappeared after Rei’s race. Amakata-sensai left Gou-chan in charge at the car park and Gorou-chan left them a few moments later. They talked a bit about the day then Rei-chan said, “I’m really fired up.” 

Nagisa felt annoyed enough by that to snap at him, “It’s a bit late for that now.” 

Gou-chan stepped forward to face them. “No,” she said quietly, “it’s not too late. There’s still the second day.” 

Mako-chan stared at her before going over the events of the second day. “Let’s see there’s individual medley and the relay…” he stopped and stared at Gou-chan. 

She glanced up, blushed and said, “I’m sorry. I entered you in the relay. Amakata-sensai knows.” 

“But we haven’t practiced for the relay.” 

Rei-chan interrupted Nagisa’s argument. “It’s worth a shot. It’s our last chance to get to regionals.” 

Nagisa exchanged a look with Mako-chan, a strange hope growing in his heart. “We need to find Haru-chan.” 

They raced to Haru-chan’s house only to find it empty so they sat down to wait for him. Rei-chan found the photo and trophy from their last relay with Rin-chan. Nagisa frowned at the photo and wondered if Haru-chan would agree to swim in the relay. Of all of them he was the one who appeared to have the most emotional attachment to the past and to Rin-chan. 

It got late and Gou-chan said, “He’s still not home.” 

Nagisa looked up at the clock. “Where did he go?” 

Rei-chan looked down at the table. “What if…?” 

Nagisa jumped to his feet, angry that Rei-chan would even think such a thing. “Rei-chan, don’t say scary stuff with that look on your face!” 

Rei-chan glanced up at him. “I didn’t say anything yet. But…” 

Luckily for the idiot Mako-chan interrupted him. “Don’t worry. Haru’s not that weak.” 

Nagisa had a sudden thought. “His cell phone! Let’s call him!” 

He hit Haru’s number and held his cell phone to his ear. It went to voice mail. “Leave a message,” Rei-chan said. 

Nagisa started. “Haru-chan? Where are you right now?” 

Rei-chan took the phone. “Please hurry home. We’re all worried.” 

Gou-chan snatched it next. “I’m sorry, Haruka-senpai! I signed everyone up for the medley relay.” 

Nagisa retrieved his phone. “So let’s all swim together tomorrow, Haru-chan.” 

After that the message disintegrated into Rei-chan’s talk of getting the theory memorized and Nagisa shouting that was a sure fire way for them to lose before the message time ran out. 

Gou-chan sighed. “Will that sloppy message bring him home?” 

And that was when Nagisa saw Haru-chan’s phone. He felt completely deflated for the first time in his life and Mako-chan didn’t help. “I think we’ll have to forfeit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is getting a lot easier to write now :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The festival from Rin's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is what I think might have been going through Rin's mind. I know the scene got to me in the anime.

They didn’t need him anymore. They’d raced and won their way to regionals without him despite glasses guy. Why did he care? What was going on in his mind, in his heart?

Nitori was saying something but Rin was only listening enough to answer with the occasional grunt or yeah in the right places. It was only when Nitori made some remark about beating Haru meaning he could move on that he realised. Nothing had changed. He was still stuck in the past, still missing them. Still missing… Haru. 

The door to the locker room was thrust open and Mikoshiba stood there. “Hurry up, we’re leaving.” 

Nitori stared. “Huh? Where are we going?” 

Mikoshiba made an impatient sound. “Weren’t you listening? We’re off to pray for victory.” 

Nitori gasped. “That’s right, today is Hachiman-sama’s festival.” 

Rin sighed. The last thing he needed was to attend a festival at Iwatobi of all places. There was no choice however, so he dressed and boarded the train with the rest of them. 

Nitori started chattering as soon as they stepped out of the station. “I love yukata. We should have worn ours. Oh, I believe you know this area, senpai.” 

Rin agreed with Nitori to shut the brat up as his attention focused on four young boys. They were about the same age as he had been when he’d swum with the others and their happy chatter reminded him of the four of them having fun together at that age. 

As he walked through the stalls everything reminded him of the past and he let Nitori’s constant chatter flow over him, a tide of background noise accompanying his inner musings. He knew he was being followed about half way along the main street. He spun round and spotted the yukata glasses boy was wearing. He’d seen them all as he’d gone past and he knew Nagisa had spotted him. So he guessed glasses boy was here to make sure he didn’t bump into Haru. Nagisa needn’t have worried, it was the last thing Rin wanted to do. 

He kept going, a single destination in mind, and left the festival stalls behind. Nitori started whining about there being nothing out here so he told him to go back. For once the brat listened and stopped in his tracks. Rin didn’t care. 

He moved on until he reached the elementary school they’d all attended. He stopped by the fence staring at a familiar sakura tree. “I want to swim in a pool full of sakura.” Haru watching as he said it and him knowing Haru wanted it too. 

He clutched at the fence as he remembered the last conversation under that tree. “I’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before.” 

They had shown each other at the relay. Makoto putting them into the lead, Nagisa keeping them there despite his youth and short stature, him hitting the water and swimming out before coming back after the turn to the sounds of his name being called out by the others, touching the wall and watching Haru’s graceful dive over him. Sights they had never seen before and now, he at least, would never see again. 

He clutched at his heart as a sob escaped him. It was all too much and he had to get away from this place. He had to escape these memories. He pushed away from the fence, staggering under the wave of grief that swamped him. 

A ridiculous idea hit him and he began to run. He didn’t stop until he reached the station where Mikoshiba and, inevitably, Nitori were waiting for him. He caught his breath then looked Mikoshiba in the eye. “Captain, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fairly sure Rin is trying to get those feelings back but feels he's burned too many bridges to be able to.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The festival from Haru's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm tired of these two beating around the bush so I've added some headcanon at the end of this chapter.

Haru didn’t know what to think. Why did he swim? Okay, he loved being in water but he didn’t need to compete to go to public pools. Was it for Rin? The 100 meters had been but the relay had been for Makoto, Nagisa and Rei. It confused him so he swam in the school pool, trying to get an answer from the water. For once it was silent.

He was still trying to work it out when Makoto and Nagisa turned up at his house to ask him to attend the festival with them. They were offering all sorts of reasons, most of which he ignored while he thought, I swam for these guys, with them, I should go with them now. “Okay.” 

He was surprised by the enthusiastic reaction and didn’t say much on the way to meet Rei. He enjoyed the sight of Nagisa prodding at Makoto till he got his arm round the taller boy’s waist and was rewarded by Makoto’s arm going round his shoulders. He was happy they were able to show their feelings in public but it made him wonder about his own. Did he still care about Rin or was he just a rival now? Rin’s words to him after the 100 meter race suggested he was simply a rival while Rin was still in the area and when he left Haru would be nothing. It hurt but Haru was ready to move on now, to move beyond the pain and stagnation of the last five years. 

He was so deep in his thoughts that at first he didn’t notice Nagisa and Rei acting strangely. However, when Rei disappeared and Nagisa and Makoto started herding him he caught on. Seeing Nagisa texting Rei about Rin confirmed his suspicions. “What are you up to?” 

Nagisa jumped and turned to face him. “Um…er…” 

“Rin’s here, isn’t he?” 

Nagisa nodded unhappily. 

Haru thought for a moment. Being here must be far more painful for Rin than it was for him. “It’s okay. Tell Rei to come back.” 

Nagisa dashed off to find Rei while he and Makoto climbed to an observation point overlooking the ocean and festival. Neither of them spoke for a while until Makoto said, “We didn’t practice for the relay so I got a bit frantic. I was swimming as hard as I could so Nagisa could go but I remembered what we saw that day. I was happy to swim in a relay with you, with everyone.” 

His words shook Haru to the core so he felt he had to be honest, had to give something of himself back to Makoto who had been so patient with his social ineptitude and shyness over the years. “I’m just not sure anymore. I don’t need a reason to swim. I just need to feel the water. That’s what I’ve always believed. But when I lost to Rin everything became dark. I won’t get to swim with Rin again. I didn’t care about anything at that point. Not the tournament or anything else.” 

The thought of Rin’s distance and coldness, of never swimming with him again still hurt but there was something else he needed to say. “When I watched you guys swim I thought how I’d trained with you. I might end up as nothing more than filler but if you really wanted to swim in a relay I would swim with you. That was when I remembered how it felt to swim in the same lane together. To have people waiting at the finish line, it made me just as happy.” 

“Haru-chan, did you really mean that?” Nagisa sounded so happy, it shocked Haru. 

Rei surprised him even more. “You have your answer, Haruka-senpai.” 

Makoto suggested they go home so they were rested for training but Haru had an idea. “Not yet, there’s one more thing.” 

They returned to the festival and Haru won four goldfish which he handed over to Makoto. “For me?” the taller boy asked. 

Nagisa giggled. “You’re the only one who would take care of them, Mako-chan.” 

They went their separate ways after that and Haru reached home to find Rin sitting on his doorstep. “Why are you here?” 

Rin looked up and Haru could see the tracks of his tears. “I remembered so much and it hurt so I wanted to see you. Wanted to apologise for what I said. I thought it was the truth and I thought it would help us both but it hurt you instead.” 

Haru didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to comfort Rin. When words did come they sounded cold even to his ears. “It doesn’t matter.” 

Rin’s broad shoulders sagged but he stood up. “I see. Well, I’m sorry.” He turned away, ready to go. 

Haru couldn’t help it. He reached out a hand. “Rin… I’ve never been good with words. You know that. But it means a lot to me that you came here tonight.” 

Rin turned back to gaze at him. “Really?” 

Haru nodded and stepped closer. “What upsets me is the thought of never swimming with you again. You wanted me to swim for you and I did. Now I’ll swim for the others but… it’s not the same.” 

There was a sharp intake of breath and Haru found himself gathered up in strong arms. “Haru, swimming isn’t worth it if it’s not with or for you. You make it worth it.” 

Rin’s lips found his and Haru clung to him. It was nothing like their first immature kiss. It was altogether more assured, deeper and full of the feelings both of them found hard to express in words. It was everything Haru could ever want from Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That feels sooo much better! I think there is more to come but I want to see how the anime ends before I decide just what. I might swap the hotel rooms about though....


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice for the regionals, sukiyaki and a talk on the beach. Makoto's POV

Makoto picked Haru up for school as usual and found him sitting on the steps and waiting. There was a smile on his face, a sight Makoto was getting used to seeing but still stopped him in his tracks. Fact was Haru was damned attractive all the time, when he smiled he was literally beautiful. “Good morning, Haru-chan.”

Haru glanced up and the smile widened into a greeting. “Good morning.” He picked up his bag and came down the steps to meet Haru. “Is coach Gorou joining us today?” 

Makoto smiled and nodded. “Yes, and we’re going to his house for dinner after practice, why?” 

Haru did his usual trick of staring out to sea. “Rin’s applying to join Samezuka’s relay team. If we’re to have any chance at all, we’ll need coach Gorou’s help.” 

Makoto stopped in his tracks. “He’s doing what?” 

Haru was quiet for a few moments, but Makoto had known his dark-haired friend for long enough to know if he waited for a while, more information would be forthcoming. “I think he wants to feel connected to us again. By doing this he would be in the same pool.” 

Makoto nodded. The reasoning made sense but then something else struck him. “When did you find out?” 

A trace of pink appeared on Haru’s cheeks. “He came to see me after the festival.” 

Makoto chuckled. “You’ve made up, haven’t you?” 

Haru shrugged. “I’m not sure I’d go that far but, it’s better than it was.” 

Makoto nodded thinking that even a slight thaw between his friends was better than the painful standoff he’d witnessed since Rin’s return. “I’m glad.” 

~ ~ ~ 

Their practice was noisy with Sasabe Gorou screaming at them the whole time. Then he produced some video cameras to pick up their form from all angles. Makoto thought it was quite fun until Rei said, “Haruka-senpai’s form might be perfect now but it’s not as beautiful as it was.” 

Nagisa caught his hand. “He’s right, Mako-chan. Are we too focused on this now?” 

Makoto gave his boyfriend’s hand a squeeze. “Look on the bright side. Rin’s involvement has got Haru fired up.” 

Nagisa giggled. “You’re right. Regionals should be really interesting.” 

Later they were in the equivalent of a Turkish bath with steam everywhere as sukiyaki was cooked in the middle of the table. Ama-chan had joined them and even she seemed a little dubious about the food. However, when she took a bite she pronounced it delicious so everyone took a bowlful. 

It was surprisingly good and the sight of Nagisa with his bangs pulled back with a clip was sexy enough to make Makoto blush. Then his genki little lover was chasing Rei round with a firework and making them all laugh. 

He sat quietly with Haru and lit a firework from his as he thought about regionals and the past. It was almost impossible to think about a medley relay without thinking about Rin. Then Gou found Gorou’s old photo album and thoughts of Rin became pictures of the younger version. 

Makoto enjoyed the memories but couldn’t help but notice Rei becoming more and more withdrawn as the evening wore on and talk of Rin went back and forth between them. It became obvious why when they were walking home along the beach. “What happened between the four of you? You were obviously close then.” 

Makoto was really surprised when Haru decided Rei had a right to know. “We swam the relay together just before Rin left for Australia. He said he’d show me a sight I’d never seen before. After we won the relay, it felt like I really did see it.” 

Nagisa nodded from his perch on a rock. “I also felt like I saw something completely new.” 

Makoto agreed. “Yep, same here.” 

Rei frowned and spoke haltingly. “If you swam together in the relay and won why is your relationship so different now?” 

A pained look crossed Haru’s face but he answered Rei’s question. “During the winter break of my first year in middle school, I ran into Rin while he was visiting.” 

This part of the story was new to Nagisa too and Makoto only knew they’d raced and Haru had hurt Rin by winning. 

Haru spoke slowly and hugged his arms with his hands as if the memories still hurt him. “He was acting strange that day but he suggested we swim together and we went to the swimming club. Coach Goro let us in and we raced. I thought it was just another race but Rin took it hard and after we dressed again he told me he was quitting swimming.” 

Nagisa sat up straight on his rock. “I never knew that happened.” 

Haru didn’t look at anyone. “I couldn’t tell anyone back then.” 

Nagisa couldn’t leave it alone. “So that’s why you quite the swimming club in middle school.” 

Makoto sighed as he hugged his tiny boyfriend. “Haru stopped swimming competitively as he felt guilty about what happened with Rin. 

Rei didn’t seem at all satisfied with the answers he’d been given. “But didn’t your race at prefecturals put an end to all that? You’re free now. You can swim the way you want. So why are you upset about losing? And why is he entering the relay? I don’t understand!” 

Makoto wondered if Haru was going to mention talking to Rin. He didn’t. He just became thoughtful. “I don’t really know either, but somehow I’m looking forward to racing Rin again.” 

Makoto wasn’t sure Rei understood even now but then he was at a loss too. He gave Nagisa’s shoulders a brief squeeze. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the station.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of this one, I think. Maybe three more chapters to go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei makes a decision and Nagisa tries to cover for him. Nagisa POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's rather short.

Nagisa kissed Mako-chan goodnight, happy that his boyfriend had bought him a strawberry milk ice. He sat on one of the benches at the station, eating his treat until he noticed just how quiet and withdrawn Rei-chan was. “Do you want some of this?” he offered, not keen on parting with any but prepared to if it would cheer his friend up.

“No thank you.” 

Well, that was a relief but Rei-chan sounded so stiff and formal. Nagisa thought he knew why. “There’s no point in thinking about it now. It’s all in the past.” Although he still missed Rin-chan. “And we don’t plan on getting you involved, so don’t worry.” 

Rei-chan jumped to his feet, angrier than Nagisa had ever seen him before. “How can you say that when I’m already involved?" 

Nagisa didn’t know what to say to that. “It wasn’t intentional.” 

Rei-chan took a deep breath and sighed. “I know, Nagisa-kun. But I need to know the whole story. I need to speak to Rin-chan.” 

Nagisa stared at Rei-chan. Was he mad? “Are you out of your mind, Rei-chan? Why would Rin-chan want to speak to you about the past?” 

Rei saw the approaching train so didn’t sit down again. “I’m not saying he will, Nagisa-kun. But I know I have to try talking to him. Perhaps, as he has no shared past with me, he might tell me what I need to understand.” 

Nagisa had the feeling whatever he said would fall on deaf ears. He stood up and waited until they were both on the train before saying, “So I guess you want me to cover for you at swim practice tomorrow.” 

For the first time since the old photos had been shown around, Rei-chan smiled. “It would be appreciated, Nagisa-kun.” 

So, the next day at practice, when Gorou-chan demanded to know where Rei was Nagisa floundered until he came up with, “Maybe the strawberry milk ice cream I gave him upset him.” 

Makoto gave him a strange look but he ignored it as Gorou-chan said, “Ice cream doesn’t go off.” 

Nagisa floundered some more until Gou-chan stared hard at Haru-chan and said one word. “Mackeral!” 

Haru just stared back and said, “I didn’t give him anything to eat.” 

While Gorou-chan started on a diatribe about how they couldn’t afford to miss any practices before regionals, Mako-chan touched his arm. “What are you hiding, Nagisa?” 

Nagisa shook his head and made faces at his idiot boyfriend, hoping he would get the message. “Nothing that matters right now.” He put emphasis on the last two words and shot a quick glance at Gou-chan and Gorou-chan. 

Mako-chan got the message much to his relief and he gave the big lug’s hand a squeeze in thanks. 

After practice, both Mako-chan and Haru-chan cornered him outside the locker room. “What’s going on, Nagisa? Where’s Rei-kun?” 

Nagisa sighed. “He went to talk to Rin-chan. I couldn’t stop him so I tried to cover for him.” 

Mako-chan sighed but did give him a comforting hug. Haru-chan turned away. “I wish he’d let it go. I’m not on bad terms with Rin.” 

Nagisa stared. “You’re not?” But Haru-chan was striding away. 

“I don’t think he’s in the mood to discuss it right now, but they have spoken to each other since prefecturals.” 

Nagisa whooped and jumped at his boyfriend, wrapping his legs round his waist. “So we can all be friends again?” 

Mako-chan held him steady but his eyes went sad and distant at his words. “I hope so, Nagisa, but I can’t be certain yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I think it will be more than three more chapters after all. I'll stop trying to guess.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two 'talks' with Rei. Rin's POV

“Matsuoka, there’s someone outside to see you. Ryugazaki or something.”

Rin frowned and walked to the main entrance pulling on his jacket as he went. He was surprised to see his visitor was the fourth member of the Iwatobi relay team. “You. So what do you want?” 

The boy stood his ground. “I have two questions for you.” 

Rin was puzzled enough to ask, “What are they?” 

“My first question, then. Why did you suddenly decide to swim in the relay?” 

Rin swallowed hard on the stab of pain that went through him like a hot knife. His eyes closed. “I changed my mind.” _Didn’t Haru explain? No, of course not, at least, not to you._ “You came out here to ask me that?” 

Glasses boy was not finished. “That answer does not convince me. You’ve been fixated on racing Haruka-senpai all this time. Your reason was you couldn’t move forward till you defeated him.” 

Rin made a small distressed noise. Why was this kid raking all that up? _Didn’t I sort this out with Haru? No, Haru didn’t send you. Haru knows why._

The boy in front of him was relentless. “And, in the last tournament, you beat him. Doesn’t that mean you’ve achieved your goal?” 

Rin fought off the pain the only way he knew how, with irritation. “My goal isn’t to beat Haru. It’s not to win tournaments in this country. I aim higher. My goal is the world.” Now perhaps he’d be left alone. 

Ryugazaki stared at him for a moment. “The world? Very well. Moving on to my second question. How do you feel about Haruka-senpai?” 

Rin stared. “Huh?” Why was this clown asking about his feelings for Haru? 

But the boy was still talking. “In grade school, you and Haruka-senpai were close rivals. I saw old pictures of you guys when we were at Coach Sasabe’s house. You used to smile all the time with Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai and Nagisa-kun, the four of you were always together and having fun. So what made you change after going to study abroad? Why didn’t you contact Haruka-senpai or any of the others after you returned to Japan? What happened while you were abroad? You used to be good friends, so why? You swam in a relay together, so why? You must have been thrilled about swimming in a relay with them. Aren’t you the one who understands more than anyone how great that relay was?” 

Rin clenched his fists at his sides as Ryugazaki pummelled him with his endless questions, every one of which was hurting him more and more. He snapped and yelled at the boy. “SHUT UP!” 

He took several deep breaths to calm himself. “I let you talk, and you think you can spout all the useless logic you want? Why do I have to explain myself to you?” Damn! He was yelling at the kid but… this was so painful. He was hearing the very questions he’d been asking himself. Haru understood, he knew Rin wanted to be in the same pool, at least, even if he couldn’t be in the same lane anymore. 

Ryugazaki pushed his glasses up his nose. “Because I’m a victim. I was originally on the track team, but I ended up joining the swim club. After watching Haruka-senpai swim, I wanted to swim like him. Practice was hard at first but it started to grow on me. Eventually I was having fun swimming with everyone. At prefecturals I finally swam in a relay with them. That was the first time I really understood relays as more than just a theory. I realised how fun they could be!” 

Rin felt like his heart was being torn apart by Ryugazaki’s words. Fun? It was that very fun which set him back in the first place. But the big-mouthed kid was still spouting. 

“I can still remember how it felt,” Ryugazaki said, hand on heart. “We were finally united as one! We felt like a real team! But they all keep talking about you! Rin-chan! Rin-chan! Rin-chan!” The boy had lost his cool and was now shouting. 

Rin felt like doing some shouting of his own. “That’s not my problem!” 

Ryugazaki flew at him. “Like hell it’s not!” He was grabbed by the jacket and pinned to the wall, the boy surprisingly strong. “Bastard! It’s your fault Haruka-senpai stopped swimming!” 

Rin leaned forward, this was news to him. Haru had never said a word, but then, being Haru he wouldn’t, would he? “Huh? What are you talking about?” 

“Haruka-senpai felt guilty about beating you in middle school!” 

Rin stared. Haru had stopped swimming because of that? 

But Ryugazaki wasn’t finished shouting. “So why are you people acting this way? I don’t get it! You beat Haruka-senpai in your last race! Isn’t that enough?! Why are you swimming in the relay now?! What do you want to do?! What do you want from Haruka-senpai?! What will it take to satisfy you?!” 

Rin stood quietly under the barrage of questions until he decided it was time to ask some of his own. Did this four-eyed idiot have a crush on Haru or something? The thought made him angry. He’d loved Haru since he was twelve and he wasn’t letting this dork step into his shoes. “In that case… what about you? You weren’t involved in any of this, so why are you giving me all this grief?” 

He grabbed the boy by the shirt and pushed him off. “What do _you_ want to do?" 

Back to being infuriatingly calm Ryugazaki said, “I want us to become the best team at a tournament. I want to swim with them as a member of that team. That’s all I want.” 

Rin gasped as he realised it was exactly what he wanted too. It was too late now, though. He could only swim with the Samezuka team, not with Haru and the others anymore. He let go of four-eyes’ shirt. 

Ryugazaki picked up his bag. “If you interfere I shall never forgive you.” 

Rin played the verbal spat over and over in his mind for the rest of the day and it interfered with everything, his studying, his swimming, all of it. 

After a particularly bad relay practice he made a decision and texted Gou once he reached the hotel for regionals. She should know Ryugazaki’s number. 

He texted Ryugazaki and asked to meet him later that night. A text came back saying Ryugazaki Rei agreed to the meeting. 

As Rin waited he had a lot of time to think. Perhaps if he told Ryugazaki the truth it would help the others understand too. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them. It was stupid really but it had seemed like the truth at the time. Ryugazaki approached and Rin turned to meet him. “Yo.” 

The boy was stiff and bristling with hostility. “What did you want?” 

Rin sighed and looked out over the town. “I never answered your question.” 

Ryugazaki shrugged. “That’s no longer necessary.” 

Rin stayed calm. “No, I’ll give you my answer. I won’t feel like it’s over until I do. You wanted to know how I feel about Haru. It’s true I was fixated on racing him. But it’s not Haru’s fault I wanted to quit swimming. I was pretty shocked when I lost to him. But that wasn’t what did it. After moving to Australia, I trained every day and participated in tournaments. But I couldn’t swim the way I wanted to. The Olympics were completely out of reach. I felt more and more like I was being left behind. I could only wonder, why was I struggling so much? Why? Ah… It was because I swam in a relay. I ruined myself. That was the conclusion I arrived at.” 

Ryugazaki gasped and Rin turned away. The last thing he needed was this boy’s pity. “When I returned to Japan, I didn’t let any of them know. I didn’t talk to any of them. But when I swam with Haru that night, I had a breakthrough. I wanted to swim again. When I watched you guys swim at prefecturals, it reminded me of our relay.” 

Ryugazaki gasped. “Rin-san, you…” 

Rin interrupted him, not wanting to hear further, hurtful words. Oh, how he longed for Haru’s company at this minute. “You’re Ryugazaki, right? I’m going to swim in Samezuka’s relay. I’m going to show you how good I can be. So do the best you can with Haru and your other teammates. But it also means that you can’t embarrass your team. That’s all I have to say. Sorry to make you come out here.” 

He walked away and made his way back to the hotel. When he reached his room Nitori immediately pounced. “Welcome back, senpai. Did something happen?” 

He sighed. “No, nothing happened.” 

Nitori sighed then perked again. “Oh, that’s right. The captain was looking for you. He probably wants to talk about the relay tomorrow.” 

Rin stood up and went to find Mikoshiba. He was in the corridor and handed Rin the relay line-up. Rin’s name wasn’t on it. “What?” 

Mikoshiba didn’t look at him as he said, “This will be our line-up for the relay tomorrow. You can focus on the hundred meters free.” 

Rin needed answers. “Hold on! Why?” 

“You haven’t paid attention to your own relay team.” Mikoshiba glanced up. “You’re focused on something else. I’m sending our best members out there. That’s what a team should do. You’re not at your best condition right now.” 

Every word was like a knife going into Rin, stabbing him with hard truths, taking the last of his hopes. “You can’t…” But Mikoshiba could and had and Rin had nothing left to swim for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A painful chapter for Rin, but at least he knows Haru understands even if Rei doesn't. Will do the Haru thank you's for the next chapter but I'm definitely swapping the rooms around!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before regionals. Haru's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for such a long delay but NaNoWriMo has my body and soul during November.

Haru was amused by everyone’s antics on their night out before regionals. They looked round the various big stores and Makoto had problems in trying to keep Nagisa from spending all of his money at once. Then they went to a traditional restaurant to eat and he laughed with the others when Rei accidently ordered three different dishes.

He felt more alive than he had in years and wondered if swimming in the same pool with Rin again was what was making him feel that way. It made him think about the other two members of their team and all that he owed them. Makoto especially had been so patient with him over the years, but if Nagisa hadn’t returned and set up the swim club… He owed them both so much. 

When they returned to the hotel he couldn’t settle so he knocked on the door of the room Makoto and Nagisa were sharing. Nagisa opened it and peered out just as Rei passed them on his way to the elevators. “Where’s he going?” the little blond demanded and left Haru holding the door as he chased after Rei. 

Haru shrugged and entered the room. Makoto was already in bed but looked up and smiled when he saw him. “Is something wrong, Haru?” 

He shook his head, embarrassed but determined to say what he was here to say. “Makoto, I appreciate you being here for me. Thanks.” 

He’d never seen Makoto look so shocked and suddenly realized what a shitty, selfish friend he’d been, too wrapped up in the past to move on. It was too much for him to deal with. “I’m going out for a quick run.” He fled the room. 

He spent an hour or more pounding the sidewalks, not sure where he was going and trying hard not to think about the past or the future. Nagisa calling his name brought him back to a sense of his surroundings and he hoped the small blond knew where they were as he had no idea. 

Nagisa giggled and pulled him along to a small park and a set of swings. “I saw Rei-chan go out so I’m looking for him. What about you?” 

Haru wasn’t sure how he should answer that. “I’m…” 

Nagisa interrupted of course. “Too nervous to sleep, right?” 

He looked away. That wasn’t it. “Not exactly…” 

Nagisa chuckled. “I’m feeling pretty nervous myself.” 

That surprised Haru. He’d always thought Nagisa was incapable of being nervous. “You are?” 

Nagisa nodded. “What if I screw up my dive? Wouldn’t I ruin it for everyone? I’m worrying about things I don’t usually think about because I get to swim in a relay with you guys again.” 

Haru stared. He’d been so selfish, so concerned with his own feelings, with the competitive streak Rin always brought out in him. He’d never stopped to think about how the others felt. Nagisa was still talking. “And we’ll be racing Rin-chan tomorrow. That’s probably why you’re nervous.” 

Nagisa didn’t miss a thing, never had, but Haru had forgotten that in his obsession with Rin. And, if not for Nagisa, they wouldn’t be here at all. “It’s all thanks to you.” 

Nagisa nearly fell off his swing. “Huh?” 

Haru continued while he could. “You’re the one who came up with the idea of starting a swim club.” 

Nagisa shrugged. “Yep, that’s right.” 

Haru smiled. “I never thought I’d be swimming in a relay again.” 

Nagisa, being the little shit he was, interrupted again. “Well, that means you should be showing more gratitude to me.” 

“Yeah,” Haru said and Nagisa made a little sound of shock. “Thank you, Nagisa.” 

Nagisa’s eyes went impossibly wide and he blushed. Haru had never seen him blush before. Then he was off his swing and almost strangling Haru in his enthusiasm. “Haru-chan, I’m so happy!” 

It took Haru the next ten minutes to dislodge him. “Go back to Makoto for your hugs.” 

Nagisa gave a sly smile that made Haru feel distinctly uncomfortable for Makoto. “I will, but I promise I won’t tire him out.” 

Haru blushed and looked away as he wondered how Rin was faring tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is such a short chapter but I think there will be many more chapters than I originally anticipated. Next stop Makoto and Nagisa's room. I'm bad. Sorry, not sorry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto, Nagisa and a hotel bed. Makoto POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got round to updating this with a very short chapter just to get me back into the swing of things. Sorry it's been so long but real life has been a real bitch so far this year so will update when I can.

Makoto couldn’t sleep. Not only was he excited about the relay tomorrow, he was also concerned about Nagisa. He’d disappeared earlier to look for Rei but Makoto heard Rei return some time ago yet there was still no sign of Nagisa.

He glanced at the clock on his cell-phone. Nearly eleven and they really needed to get some rest. He began to think of all the worst case scenarios - a traffic accident, a bad fall, or hospitals. “Nagisa, where are you?” he asked aloud. 

The sound of the elevator stopping at their floor made him sit up. He heard Nagisa’s voice, then Haru’s and the door to the room opened and shut behind the blond. “Where have you been?” His worry morphed into anger now he knew everyone was safely at the hotel. 

Nagisa shrugged. “I couldn’t find Rei-chan but I did find Haru-chan and we were talking for a while. “ He threw himself on Makoto’s bed and bounced until he was wrapped around him. “You’re a worry wart, Mako-chan.” 

Makoto had to agree with his boyfriend. He was a worrier and he wasn’t happy until he knew they were all safe and unhurt. “I know, but Rei came back nearly an hour ago and you were still missing.” 

Nagisa snuggled against him. “I’m sorry. I’m too excited to sleep, anyway, so it was probably best I went out rather than bouncing around the walls.” 

Makoto held Nagisa close and kissed the top of his head. “You have a good point there. Luckily we’re not swimming first thing in the morning.” 

Nagisa looked up and grinned. “See, you worry for nothing, Mako-chan. Did Haru-chan thank you before he went out?” 

Makoto stared. “Yes, he did. How did you know?” 

Nagisa’s grin became a contented smile. “He thanked me for starting the club. He said we wouldn't be here at all if not for me.” 

Makoto sighed and wondered why he was the captain when it was obvious Nagisa was the one in charge of everything. But that was okay as he had backup for when things got scary. “Are you going to bed some time tonight?” 

Nagisa let go of him, pulled off his clothes and threw them on the floor then curled up against him again. 

“Nagisa, your bed is over there,” Makoto said. 

“I’m comfortable here, Mako-chan.” Nagisa’s head came up again and he pouted. “Don’t you want to sleep with me?” 

Makoto didn’t stand a chance against the big eyes and pouty mouth and he pulled the covers out from under Nagisa and threw them over the lithe body. 

Nagisa smiled and kissed him. “I just want to cuddle, Mako-chan. I know we need our strength for tomorrow.” 

Makoto relaxed when he heard that. He wasn’t sure he was ready for anything more than kisses and cuddles just yet especially as Nagisa was a year younger than he was. Well, ten months younger. One day they would both be ready and he was happy that Nagisa would be his first and vice versa. 

He had always been drawn to the tiny blond, ever since they’d been in grade school, but had thought nothing of it then. Once an older and very attractive Nagisa had come to their school this year, his feelings had coalesced into something deeper than friendship. He had come to terms with the idea he was in love with another guy and for Nagisa to show interest in him had been the icing on the cake. It didn’t bother him that the love of his life was another male. He’d known for a while he was gay. He was pretty sure his mother knew too as she had asked him about Haru a couple of times. Yes, Haru was gorgeous but, Haru was in love with Rin, if Makoto was reading the signs right. He was almost certain Rin felt the same way about Haru, even though they’d been fighting this summer. 

“You’re thinking too much. Go to sleep.” 

Nagisa’s sleepy voice pulled him back to the amazing reality of Nagisa pressed against him in the hotel bed. He moved his arm as it had gone to sleep under his boyfriend’s body. “Turn over,” he whispered, “then I can hug you without the pins and needles.” 

Nagisa chuckled softly and did as he was told. Makoto spooned against him and put an arm round him. Nagisa made a contented little noise before his breathing evened out in sleep. Makoto smiled and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of a sex scene there. Somehow it just didn't seem right.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin's race and Rei's bombshell. Nagisa POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally on the last episode of the first season. Sticking with canon for a while but there will be some divergence later.

Nagisa kept hold of Mako-chan’s hand until they reached the huge pool and he had to let go for the sake of appearances. He was more nervous than he liked to admit and he kept glancing at the others to see if they were nervous too.

Haru-chan seemed his normal impassive self while Rei-chan appeared even more pensive than normal if that was possible. “We need to calm down, everyone,” Mako-chan said from somewhere above him and he gazed up at his boyfriend, wondering what had brought that on. There was a tension in Mako-chan’s green eyes and Nagisa realised his boyfriend was speaking for himself. 

“I am perfectly calm, thank you, Makoto-senpai,” Rei-chan said in an icy tone. 

Haru-chan rolled his eyes and gave them a terse, “I’m fine.” 

They lined up with the other schools, the smallest group present and Nagisa vowed he would do something about that next year. He couldn’t help but glance over at the Samezuka team, or more especially, Rin-chan, and was actually horrified by the hopeless look on their former teammate’s face. What on earth had happened to give once happy-go-lucky Rin-chan that hopelessness? 

Gou-chan, Ama-chan and Gorou-chan approached them after the line-up and everyone said good morning. Haru-chan was glancing all around until Mako-chan said, “It doesn’t look like Rin’s here yet.” 

Nagisa wasn’t sure how Haru-chan would react to that but, luckily, Chigusa-chan arrived at that moment to inform them she’d found them all seats. 

They settled down to watch the individual races and then it was the one hundred meter freestyle heat that Rin-chan was in. “Rin’s up next,” Nagisa said though he had the feeling his words were redundant as both Haru-chan and Mako-chan were leaning forward in their seats, their attention fully on the race that was about to start. 

Rin-chan got a late start and Mako-chan was obviously surprised enough to comment on it. Haru-chan didn’t seem too worried though. “Rin will make it up on the turn.” 

However, Rin-chan did not make it up on the turn; instead he was falling further and further behind the rest of the swimmers. He touched the wall last and then didn’t have the strength to climb out of the pool. 

Haru-chan gave a pained gasp and jumped to his feet, heading for the locker rooms. Mako-chan was immediately behind him and Nagisa jumped up with, “I’m coming too.” By now he was really worried about Rin-chan. What had happened to make so much difference? 

They arrived in the lobby area just in time to hear Rin-chan roar “SHUT UP!” They exchanged quick glances and headed towards the sound only to see Rin-chan kick a waste bin against the wall while his little shadow cringed back with his hands over his head. “I’m obviously not good enough to swim in a relay. Forget it, I quit! I’m done swimming!” he yelled. 

Nagisa stood like a petrified rabbit in a truck’s headlights. “Rin-chan wasn’t picked for the relay?” He couldn’t quite believe that. Rin-chan was the best and fastest fly swimmer he had ever seen. But even worse was to come as Haru-chan slid down a plate glass window and buried his head in his hands. Nagisa might not know him quite as well as Mako-chan but Haru-chan looked as if every last bit of resolve had been leached out of him. It did not bode well for their relay. 

“Haru…” Mako-chan started to say then said nothing at all. 

Nagisa tried. “Haru-chan… what now, the prelims are about to start.” 

Mako-chan said, “Let’s focus on our own race right now.” Nagisa wanted to hit his boyfriend. Mako-chan, usually so perceptive when it came to Haru-chan, had just displayed all the tact of a battering ram on a straw hut. 

He contented himself with saying, “But look at Haru-chan.” Behind him Rei-chan took a deep breath. “I have something to tell everyone.” 

Nagisa wasn’t sure what could be said to change the situation but he was prepared to give anything a try. “Rei-chan?” 

Rei-chan ignored him and said, “Last night Rin-san called me outside to talk.” 

Both Nagisa and Mako-chan stared at their newest recruit. This was news to them both. 

Rei-chan continued. “He told me that when he said he wanted to quit swimming in middle school, it wasn’t because he lost to Haruka-senpai. 

“He hit a wall while training abroad and his confidence was shaken. That’s why he wanted to quit swimming. But after returning to Japan, running into Haruka-senpai, and racing him again, he could put it behind him. 

“After watching us swim at prefecturals, he remembered what it was like and wanted to swim in a relay again. That’s why he said he’d swim with Samezuka to give us the best relay ever.” 

Nagisa stared at Rei-chan, trying to process so much information in the short time they had. He came to the conclusion that he didn’t know Rin-chan at all. “I didn’t realise Rin-chan felt that way.” But Rei-chan hadn’t finished with the surprises. 

“But that’s not what he really wants. He didn’t care about the race. He just wanted to swim with all of you again. To swim with the best teammates he could have…” 

Haru-chan stood up and interrupted him. “How do you know that?” 

“Because… I feel the same way he does. I want to swim in a relay with all of you. With the best teammates I could ever ask for. I’m sure you feel the same way, Haruka-senpai. The race isn’t important! There’s someone you want to swim with, right?” 

Nagisa spun round at the sound of Haru-chan’s pained sigh. “I want to swim with Rin!” 

“If you don’t do something, Rin-san will stop swimming. You’re the only ones that can help him.” 

Mako-chan looked as if he was about to burst into tears. “But what are we supposed to do?” 

Nagisa turned and gave his boyfriend a look meant to convey ‘idiot’ better than words ever could while Rei-chan started shouting. 

“You still don’t understand? Logically speaking there is only one possible solution!” 

Haru-chan caught on first. “Rei, are you really okay with that?” 

Rei-chan adjusted his glasses then smiled. “Of course!”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rather messy little fight from Rin's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I've stuck mostly to canon but with some additional head canon regarding Rin's thoughts.

Rin stood under a tree redolent of the sakura in the Elementary School yard. So many memories flitted through his head as he thought about that time, about the fun he had with Haru and the others.

He thought about today, about frightening Nitori twice, enough to make the kid wince and dart back as if expecting a blow. As if he would ever hurt him, even though he was annoying as fuck. He felt bad about it though and even worse about his performance in the hundred meters free. 

He’d wanted so badly to swim in the relay. He knew he could no longer swim in the same lane as Haru, Nagisa and Makoto, but at least he’d have been in the same pool with them, in the same race. Mikoshiba’s pronouncement had upset him so much he had been unable to swim properly in the hundred meters and had come in such a pathetic last. 

The world must be laughing at him and his dreams of being an Olympian, and he couldn’t bear the laughter. He wanted to be more than this. He wanted to be a good swimmer. Was it so much for him to ask? But it seemed as if he couldn’t swim at all unless Nanase Haruka was there to hold his damned hand. 

He gazed up at the tree, letting the memories take him. Remembering the sights the four of them had seen together. He didn’t know why he swam anymore. Nothing came close to that childhood relay. Nothing. 

He frowned as he thought he heard his name being called then shrugged. It was his imagination probably or the breeze through the leaves. 

A slight sound to his left made him turn to see Haru breathing heavily as if he’d been running hard. “Haru…” 

He paused not sure if he was pleased to see Haru or angry that he was here at all after seeing his humiliation. “Why are you here? Come to laugh at my pathetic loss?” 

“Rin…” Haru started but Rin wasn’t in the mood to listen. 

“You saw what happened in the free, and I was taken out of the relay. The world is laughing at me. So join in! No need to pity me.” 

There was no response from Haru and Rin’s temper, already chancy, came to the fore. “I told you to laugh!” he yelled. “That’s all I’m good for anyway. I’m not even good enough to race you guys in a relay!” 

Haru said the entirely the wrong thing then, “Calm down, Rin.” 

“SHUT UP!” Rin screamed, “What would you know?” 

Haru frowned. “I know. How fun it is to swim with friends… How good it feels to swim in a relay together… You were the one who taught me that, Rin. You’re the reason I…” 

Haru got no further. Perhaps he thought he was helping but every word cut Rin like a sharp knife until his dreams and ambitions were bleeding out onto the ground. He dropped his bag and charged, grabbing the front of Haru’s jacket. “Shut up!” he yelled again. 

Haru was babbling. “I understand now. I found the answer! Why it is I swim! Who I’m swimming for!” 

Right now Rin didn’t give a fuck why Haru swam. Every word hurt. “I told you to shut up!” He threw a punch that Haru caught but it knocked him off balance. Rin used his superior size and weight and then they were both rolling around on the ground, Rin wanting to beat Haru to a bloody pulp for hurting him yet again. 

Suddenly he stopped as some words, scratched into the ground beneath the tree caught his eye. “For the Team.” The very words he’d used in elementary school to adorn his brick. 

“This tree looks like the sakura in the school yard,” Haru said needlessly then asked, “Isn’t that why you were here?” 

The tears came then, all the pain and stupidity loosening and falling onto Haru’s cheek. “Why?” Rin asked. “Why can’t I be free? I want to swim with you guys. I want to swim in a relay with you guys.” 

Haru let him cry until he was calm enough to say, “But it’s too late now.” 

Then Haru sat up. “No,” he said, “it’s not too late. Let’s go, Rin.” 

Rin was just about to kiss Haru when Makoto’s voice interrupted him. “Ah, there they are!” 

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa called his voice full of excitement. 

Rin climbed to his feet and turned to face them. “You guys…” He couldn’t go on. He had never been so pleased to see Nagisa and Makoto in his life. 

Even Rei was smiling at him, until the little shit put on his most aloof expression. “Honestly,” he said, “watching you irritates me so much. If you want to swim, go ahead!” 

Then Haru spoke from behind him and he whipped his head round to listen for once. “Rin, come. It’s my turn to show you a sight you’ve never seen before.” Haru’s hand was outstretched to him and Rin wondered why he’d ever turned his back on them all, Haru especially. He reached out in his turn and took Haru’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the relay and it's immediate aftermath so I cannot do it justice if I stick to Haru's POV thoughout. I will chop and change POV's as each boy hits the water although I may well start and finish with Haru. I think there are still more chapters to come after that to wrap up each POV and there we will be in definite head canon territory.
> 
> Hope everyone is still enjoying and I apologize again for the long gap in posting in the middle.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relay. Differing POV's for the swimming but mostly Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some headcanon here as I imagine what might have been going through their minds.

Haru led the way to the official, hoping they were still in time to participate in the relay. They were lucky as they were drawn in heat two so they were allowed to compete. He smiled to himself. It wasn’t the competition that mattered, it was swimming with Rin again, seeing that sight once more.

Haru wasn’t sure how Makoto felt as captain of the club but a reassuring smile from his best friend made him feel a lot better. Then Makoto jumped into the pool and was all business as he got into position to push off into his backstroke. 

* 

Makoto swam as if his life depended on it. He needed to make this relay special, he wanted them to win for Rin’s sake as much as his own. He stretched out trying for speed and also trying to overcome his fear of the water. The water was black, waiting to get him. Everything was frenetic. The blood was pounding in his ears, his breaths were becoming laboured with his effort. 

Then the world went still. 

There was no water, no pool, and no race. He was swimming in a beautiful sky and his movements were slow, graceful and yet he knew he was speeding through the water. 

Something happened in his head and he wasn’t afraid anymore. Nagisa’s voice calling him home added to his joy and he touched the wall yelling his boyfriend’s name. “Nagisa!” 

Nagisa seemed to fly over him and he climbed out of the pool knowing he’d done everything he could for his team. 

* 

Nagisa dived, knowing he’d made the exchange perfectly and Rin would make no mistake when he got back to the block. He was concerned, knowing his was the slowest stroke. He didn’t want to let the others down. 

His mind drifted back to when they’d been children and he’d had to nag, cajole, beg and irritate Rin into letting him join the relay team. Ever since the moment the redhead said yes, Nagisa had tried his hardest to improve, to get faster, and to never be the weakest link. 

Once again he was swimming with the best relay team ever and he felt honoured to be included. He stretched out his stroke, speeding up and then something seemed to nudge him. 

A dolphin in the pool, how could that be? The dolphin swam away from him and it was soon followed by an orca and a shark. Nagisa realized what he was seeing and swam even harder. “Wait for me, I’m coming.” 

Were the bubbles the shape of Rei’s butterfly symbol? Nagisa couldn’t be sure but he felt encouraged and swam the race of his life. 

He hit the wall. “Rin-chan!” he screamed but Rin was already diving. 

* 

Rin waited on the block feeling like he was twelve once again. He grinned and snapped his goggles into place, ignoring the gasps from both the Iwatobi and Samezuka benches. This was what he wanted, to swim with the best team a guy could ever ask for. 

Nagisa screamed his name as he touched the wall and Rin was off and swimming. 

The first fifty meters was hard and he began to think he would let the others down. Perhaps he should have given up on swimming after all. It was as if he was swimming through a dark place the whole time and he remembered chasing his father through a tunnel in his dream. 

He felt despondent, desperate even. Gone was the joyful exuberance of childhood to be replaced with despair. Then he heard Makoto and Nagisa calling his name and he smiled and turned into the home stretch. 

The tunnel was still there but now there was a bright light at the end of it, a light that was guiding him home and was accompanied by Haru’s shout. “Rin!” 

He smiled and tried harder for Haru even though he knew Haru never shouted. He touched the wall and yelled, “Haru!” Then he watched in awe as Haru’s lithe body dived over him ready and able to bring them home. 

* 

Haru hit the water and swam for the team although the water had bared its fangs again. Part of him was wishing he could stay in the water forever, perhaps even drown. Three years to go. Three years before he was ordinary, before he could give up and descend into apathy. 

He swam as he always swam, not caring about times or races or winning but this time was different as he heard their voices. Makoto's voice first, his deep, “Haru!” followed by Nagisa’s high pitched, “Haru-chan.” Rei was next his, “Haruka-senpai,” ringing out loud and clear. Then, the voice he’d missed for so long, Rin calling him home. “Haru!” 

He stopped thinking about drowning, about being ordinary and kicked hard for home. He touched the wall and pulled off his cap and goggles. A hand reached down and he looked up to see Makoto as usual. “Haru.” 

“Haru-chan! Haru-chan!” His gaze travelled to Nagisa to find the blond in tears. He knew they were tears of joy and he smiled up at his teammates. 

“Stop crying, Nagisa,” Makoto said, sounding close to tears himself. Haru grabbed the brunet’s hand and let himself be hauled out of the water while Nagisa continued to cry. 

Quick footsteps slapping against the tiles made him turn his head just as Rin grabbed him in a hug. Then Nagisa and Makoto had to join in and he was trapped in their arms. For once, he didn’t mind. 

“Thank you, Haru, you showed me the best sight I could have ever seen,” Rin whispered in his ear. 

* 

It took many weeks and many joint practices before Haru got used to the idea that Rin really was his friend again and, more than that, seemed to want to be his boyfriend. While not averse to the idea in theory, Haru knew if he agreed his quiet life would be over forever. Rin always made demands on him, always dragged him into schemes and contests and made him do things he didn’t want to do. At least until he did them and found he actually enjoyed himself. 

And there was the undeniable truth that, while Rin had been away, first in Australia then through his desire to distance himself from them all, Haru had been floating in a sort of limbo, not wanting to do much of anything. He hadn’t studied properly, often missed school altogether or walked out halfway through the day and now he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. 

It came as a shock to realize he no longer wished to be ordinary. 

It was a strange feeling when he came to terms with the idea he didn’t want to lose his friends, especially not Rin. 

He invited everyone over one night and blurted out his confused thoughts to them. 

Makoto chuckled. “We’ve known each other all our lives, Haru, I doubt we’re going to part ways yet.” 

Rin was unusually quiet. “What about when you leave school?” he asked. “Do you guys have any plans?” 

Everyone turned to stare at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger (not sorry) hehe. I think I have 4 chapters of headcanon to write now. Don't worry, I have plans for them.
> 
> Comments always welcome.


End file.
